It is Sunday once again, the day for my "Sermon Series Sunday". I am down to the last 2 series of our "Successful Marriage".
God's intention in marriage is to make it the closest human relationship of all interpersonal relationship as seen in Genesis 2:24. While this is God's intention, the sad reality is that many couples have turned out to be the bitterest of enemies, who may not be in speaking terms. Where lies the failure? To be sure, there are many factors. but one of the weightiest factors would be poor communication.A lot of people fail to consider the vital role that communication plays in a good marriage. A couple cannot effectively walk, work and live together without a good communication system in place. This is the reason that today's series will be devoting to this aspect of marriage.
1. Scriptural Foundation: Amos 3:3
.....*One can say that there is a good marriage when there is agreement.
.......Agreement takes place in at least 4 vital areas:
..........a. There is a striving towards the same goals.
..........b. The couple is living according to the same standards.
..........c. There is mutual assistance.
..........d. There is sweet fellowship.
.....*It would be impossible for these things to happen without good and meaningful communication and this is what is implied in Amos 3:3 when it says; "...they have agreed to do so."
.....*Where we find failure in marriage, we can be sure that there has been a serious breakdown in communication.
.....*The health of the marriage in communication measured by the health of the communication system.
.....*Is it possible to know God if He did not communicate to us by way of revelation? The answer is a big NO and that is the reason why God has chosen to communicate to us in various ways.
2. How do we develop good communication in marriage?
.....*Mutual openess or honesty.
.......NOTE: We cannot second guess our spouses unless we open and be honest with each others. What we think is not enough. Proverbs 23:7 says;"For as he thinks in his heart, so is he." What this means is what we think in our hearts is what we are. But nobody will know who we are unless we speak out.
.....*Having self-control
..........a. Good communication cannot take place if our passions cause us to speak out our mind in an unloving and angry way.
..........b. Certain questions need to be asked before we speak out:
................-Is what I'm going to say constructive or destructive?
................""Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:29 NIV
................-Is this the proper time to speak?
................ "A man finds joy in giving an apt reply, and how good is a timely word!" Proverbs 15:23 NIV
................-Do I speak from facts or hearsay?
................"Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice." Ephesians 4:31 NIV
................-Am I using the best possible language in this situation?
................"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15:1 NIV
CONCLUSION: Having seen the importance of good communication in oneness in marriage, let us apply the principles in our own unions.
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