Sunday, March 1, 2009

Successful Marriage (part 10)

It is Sunday once again. I can't wait for this day to come and I am now on the last part of this series. I have mixed emotions on this. I feel somewhat sad because this series finally come to an end. And happy, too, because this means, I will be talking about another interesting Sermon Series on next Sunday.
The tongue is so powerful; it can be used to build up a person or destroy him. The Bible speaks of the potential destructive power of speech in certain descriptive phrases.
There is such a thing as verbal abuse, which leaves people battered and hopeless. One of the key concepts we studied the last time was the exercise of self-control. In the previous series, we saw the need to properly evaluate the words that we would use in a meaningful communication. This is what the Bible calls in Ephesians 4:15 "...speaking the truth in love."
Today, let us deal on some misconceptions on self-control. After dealing with this, I would like to move on to the characterestics of good communication.
1. Misconception on self-control
.....a. Self-control is not silence. There are indeed times when silence is golden, but that should not be our normal way of responding to problems in our relationship. The Bible talks of "speaking the truth in love" and if this is ever to be applied we need to speak out. Issues must be faced and conflicts must be comely, respectfully and fully discussed. Silence will not bring a couple closer.
.....b. Self-control is not turning to tears to resolve conflict. Sometimes tears can be used to manipulate or win in a situation but that will only clog up the circuits of good communication.
2. Now let's talk about the effects of faulty communication, after which we will move on to the characterestics of good communication.
.....a. Conflicts and misunderstanding will remain unresolved. Pride and no communication will not only cause conflicts to be unresolved, it will even worsen it. "Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court." Matthew 5:25 NIV
.....b. If there is no communication issues will remain unclarify.
.....c. If there is no communication wrong ideas will be uncorrected.
.....d. If there is no communication disorder and confusion will prevail. "For God is not a God of disorder but of peace. As in all the congregations of the saints." 1 Corinthians 14:33 NIV
.....e. There will be faulty decision-making.
.....f. Unity and intimacy will not be developed. "Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?" Amos 3:3 NIV
.....g. There will be discontent and frustration.
.....h. Problems pile up and barriers become greater.
.....i. There will be no true knowledge of each other.
.....j. There will be no gain of any spiritual help from each other.
3. Characterestics of good communication
.....a. It begins from a right mind. "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." Ephesians 4:2 NIV
.....b. It stems from right intentions. "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:29 NIV
.....c. In turn, tight intentions bring out the right application.
.....d. It will always be based on right doctrine. As such there will be no compromise on the word and what is evil shall not be called good. In other words, good communication does not mean compromising accomodation. "Test everything. Hold on to the good. Avoid every kind of evil." 1 Thessalonians 5:21-22 NIV
CONCLUSION: We have seen various dimensions of communication and how it can help and destroy a marriage relationship. Communication is a God-given gift, which we must correctly use that we might have marriages according to God's design.
Successful Marriage (part nine) can be found at my February 22nd post. For advance study, listen to audio-sermon at Living Word Christian Ministries. I would like to take this chance to thanks those who are following this series. May God bless and strengthen each of our marriages.


Maria@Conversations with Moms said...

So many matters can be resolved through communication and settling matters quicker than later. I like these quotes.

Self control. A weakness in so many people.

Denise said...

Thanks for this.

the donG said...

you've shared many good things in this series grace. im sure a lot of women find this very very helpful.

Omah's Helping Hands said...

Ahhh yes, the almighty tongue. It can be a very hurtful tool if we aren't careful, but it can also be a very worthy tool, when we learn to use it properly. Great post Grace!!!