Sunday, February 22, 2009

Successful Marriage (part 9)

It is Sunday once again, the day for my "Sermon Series Sunday". I am down to the last 2 series of our "Successful Marriage".

God's intention in marriage is to make it the closest human relationship of all interpersonal relationship as seen in Genesis 2:24. While this is God's intention, the sad reality is that many couples have turned out to be the bitterest of enemies, who may not be in speaking terms. Where lies the failure? To be sure, there are many factors. but one of the weightiest factors would be poor communication.
A lot of people fail to consider the vital role that communication plays in a good marriage. A couple cannot effectively walk, work and live together without a good communication system in place. This is the reason that today's series will be devoting to this aspect of marriage.
1. Scriptural Foundation: Amos 3:3
.....*One can say that there is a good marriage when there is agreement.
.......Agreement takes place in at least 4 vital areas:
..........a. There is a striving towards the same goals.
..........b. The couple is living according to the same standards.
..........c. There is mutual assistance.
..........d. There is sweet fellowship.
.....*It would be impossible for these things to happen without good and meaningful communication and this is what is implied in Amos 3:3 when it says; "...they have agreed to do so."
.....*Where we find failure in marriage, we can be sure that there has been a serious breakdown in communication.
.....*The health of the marriage in communication measured by the health of the communication system.
.....*Is it possible to know God if He did not communicate to us by way of revelation? The answer is a big NO and that is the reason why God has chosen to communicate to us in various ways.
2. How do we develop good communication in marriage?
.....*Mutual openess or honesty.
.......NOTE: We cannot second guess our spouses unless we open and be honest with each others. What we think is not enough. Proverbs 23:7 says;"For as he thinks in his heart, so is he." What this means is what we think in our hearts is what we are. But nobody will know who we are unless we speak out.
.....*Having self-control
..........a. Good communication cannot take place if our passions cause us to speak out our mind in an unloving and angry way.
..........b. Certain questions need to be asked before we speak out:
................-Is what I'm going to say constructive or destructive?
................""Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:29 NIV
................-Is this the proper time to speak?
"A man finds joy in giving an apt reply, and how good is a timely word!" Proverbs 15:23 NIV
................-Do I speak from facts or hearsay?
................"Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice." Ephesians 4:31 NIV
................-Am I using the best possible language in this situation?
................"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15:1 NIV
CONCLUSION: Having seen the importance of good communication in oneness in marriage, let us apply the principles in our own unions.
Successful Marriage (part eight) can be found at my February 15th post. For advance study, listen to audio-sermon at Living Word Christian Ministries.


Denise said...

This is great.

annie kelleher said...

i think the health of a marriage can be measured by the health of the people in it. there are some people who simply cant live the committment, due to emotional or other issues. that's why there's divorce... so if you happen to find yourself married to such a dud, you can ditch the person and try again :).

RennyBA said...

Thanks for sharing!

Thanks for the visit and nice comments too - great to see you back!

Wishing you a wonderful Sunday and a great week ahead :-)

Hada Saltarina said...

Wonderful!!! I've enjoyed a lot this post, Congratulations! I wish you a very good Sunday!!!

3 Bay B Chicks said...

Lovely post, as always, Grace!

Day 3 of the Where’s Wenda? Contest is here. Today I am visiting all of the SITStas that commented on Three Bay B Chicks. That means you! Thanks so much for stopping by and for being a great SITSta!


Margaret said...

Hi Grace,

Another good "Successful Marriage" post - and sooo true! We would all do well to put this wisdom into everyday practice. Communication is a great topic, especially in the family connection. I recently spoke to a women's group about this topic and made a slideshow for them, which is also posted on my blog (presently in scrapblog form). Lots of good proverbs and a thought-provoking poem to make us truly fabulous women.
Also thanks for your offer of help with the disappearance problem regarding my blog - I'll keep it in mind for the next occasion. Presently it seems to be fixed.

Have a great week, Margaret

Gattina said...

I am married since 40 years, lol ! without recepe !

PULKIT said...

a very popular and well presented blog sis!
keep it up!


the donG said...

wow! thanks for sharing this grace. this shows that a deicision to get married should not only be based on what you feel with one another but that God is also in it.